IDEA NUMBER ONE!: Becoming a Hooker! :]
I really do enjoy the wonders of sex, so it makes sense that I would choose such a thing as my new side job, right? Right! There are, however, a couple of complications! First of all, there's the whole thing with my appearance..
You like what you see, doncha big boy?
Not many people wanna tap this, if ya know what I mean, and those that do..well... I am just not so sure if there is enough money in the WORLD to bang them! Another issue..well, just look at my profile picture, darling! I really am madly in love with that fool...
OK! So, hookin' is obviously out!
IDEA NUMBER TWO!: Sell My Soul to The Devil.
Now, I don't know about you, but I don't exactly have Satan's number on speed dial {Though I am working on it!}. But, I mean, really! How hard could it be to get ahold of him! You just kind of like...sacrafice a turtle and he appears, right? Sure! So the conversation could go a little something like this:
Me: *throws turtle in fire*
Satan: *appears* You rang?
Me: JESUS!
Satan: O,O WHERE!?
Me: Oh! No! Sorry 'bout that! That was more of a shocked then a drawing your attention to..
Satan: Oh. Well don't do that!
Me: Sorry...
Satan: It's all good. So...what the Hell do you want?
Me: Welllll I was kinda hoping you would buy my soul..I kind of need some money for college and stuff..
Satan: Sorry, Miss Spider-
Me: That's Mistress Spider..
Satan: ........yeah....anyways.. I am sorry about that, but there isn't much I can really do with your soul. I mean..it's kind of already mine..
Me: O.O WHAT!?
Satan: WELLP! Time to go! Bye~ *poofs the FUCK out of there!*
Sorry, Crush. It had to be done..
...So....yeah, guess that didn't work out like I would want it too. I don't think I want to lean who my soul is going to belong to in the afterlife just yet and, even if it won't be Satan's, I don't want to sell it to him to pay for school.. that's kinda lame, doncha think? I'll save that gem of a plan for something more..epically appropriate!
IDEA NUMBER THREE!: Get a Second Job!
Ya know, something that pays better than my measly earnings! Like..oh...I don't know...AN ASTRONAUT! I mean, I really like looking at the moon. What better view could I POSSIBLY have of it than right on its surface!? I bet it would be kind of like working at an airline where I could get discounts on flights for friends/family.. Like on Family Guy when Louis is a flight attendant.. Good times!
But...if I were an astronaut I would have to do a lot of math and just TYPING the word math makes my head spin into a migrain of doom! So..maybe something more appropriate for me. Like, well a step up from what I do now! Waitressing! Yes, that's right! Your dear Mistress Spider would get to play with people's food! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! It really is a hard job and, believe it or not, a lot of people do stiff their servers with either the shittiest tips EVAR or none at all.
I might need to put this up somewhere I would see it.
Ya know.. as a reminder..
Hmmm...maybe working SO close to food is just not in my, or anyone else's for that matter, best interest. Never fear though! I SHALL come up with a good money making idea! ...Not tonight apparently, but some day!
Untill that day, darlings, thank you for reading my first ridiculous attempt at making humor out of something that really did make me feel like I could cry. College Money really won't be the biggest issue presenting itself in my life and if you ever find it being a huge causer of stress in your life, just try to cute back on unneccessary things, which is what I am doing. Instead of buying lunch at work, I am taking sandwhiches and leftovers. Sure I get funny looks, but at the end of the wook it's me who has twenty more dollars in my pocket than my coworkers. And if you can't find something to trim back on, go big and get a loan. Yeah, it will SUCK having to pay that money back, but at least you will be able to breath a little easier in the mean time and, with new plans surrounding student loans, you probably won't have to start paying on them until you have the means of doing so.
Moral of all this? Don't worry, be happy love. It's all going to work out eventually.
Live Long, Love Hard, and Laugh Often my Lovlies!<3
.:Mistress.Spider:.
